Railroad Spiel 1961

Updated Six Flags Railroad Spiel
Written by, Mr. Charles R. Meeker, Assisted by
James Thompson and Hulen Buckner of the SFRR Crew.
Revised, August, 7, 1961.
Provided by James Thompson

(While Train is unloading just before Bullpen Gates are open.)

Now loadin’, boardin’ and, filling up. This here Express Train is going to Buffalo Gulch, Scalpers Corners, Johnson’s Creek, New Town, Rim Rock, Mexican Junction, Will’s Point, and this here Great Southwest Station. All Aboard!

(As Train is loading.)

Well Howdy there you Folks, this here is yore Con-ductor (Brakeman) speakin’ at you from back here on the backend of this bran new Express Train. We’s just tickeled to death, to have y’all on here with us. But now before we git started they is a few rules you got to go by, a fore we can git started.

First is, there ain’t suppose to be no stannin’ up on this Train, cause when it starts off you might git knocked down, and hurt yoreself and besides the folks behind you couldn’t see and they’ll libel to git mad at ya! Also now, don’t be sticking yore Arms, Legs, Feet, Heads, ner yore Younguns out of the Train cause they might git bumped or knocked off.

Then, don’t be a throwin’ no Sassparilly cups, Ice Cream Sticks, Lunch Baskets, Wives, Younguns, ner Mother n Laws off this Train neither, cause it messes up the Tracks, and we just might stop and make you git off and up pickum up.

Also, you gotta put out all yore Ciggeretts, Stogies, Charoots, and Seegars cause there ain’t no Smokin’ allowed on this Train. And for them of ya that might be a Chewin, be sure and don’t SPIT cause yore libel ta git it all over you and the folks behind ya, and nobody would appreciate that.

Then finally, in case of an Indian Attack, I want all you Women and Childurn to git down underneath the Seats, and all you Men folk with yore Shootin Irons, and Six Guns ta git’im out and see if you can pick off a few of them critters.

Now we is just about ready to go, as soon as the Station Master down there gives the Signal, and the Engineer toots the Whistle. (Train usually will make a slight lurch forward, when this happens say.) Boy, did you feel that Power?

(As the front half of the Train clears the Water Tower start this.)

     The next Station is Buffalo Gulch. If you folks will look down there to your right you can see the Folks riding on the Butterfield Stage. Ya’all need to wave at them cause it’s hot n dusty down there, and it’ll take them 3 Days to get where there goin’. We’re all most to the Station and if you will all look out under them Trees, you can see our Happy Family of Buffalo. There is the Momma, Poppa, a Baby, and the Big Ugly one over there is the Mothern Law.

(When the Engine starts across the 2nd Bridge.)

We’re coming to Scalper’s Corners. As I said, while ago. You fellas keep yore eyes peeled for any Injuns a hiding behind the Bushes here, and see if you can get a shot at one of them.

Page 2… (Revised 1961 Opening Season SFRR Spiel.)

(When back of Train clears the Scalper’s Corners Station sign.)

Next Station, Johnson’s Creek. Now folks when we start across this here next Bridge at Johnson Creek. I don’t want to see nobody lean out too far and fall in, cause there is a couple a three, great big Snapping Turtles, and a bunch of Water Moxkins down in there, and we don’t allow ya’all to feed them.

(As Engine clears the far end of Johnson Creek Bridge.)

     Folks we’ll be coming in to “New Town” Station in a minuet . Now I want you all to look up here on you right at the folks riding these new fangled con-traptions. Me and the other fellas working on this Train, was a looking at them the other Day and, we figured it wasn’t too smart of them to be riding on them things. Cause as you can see, as far down in them things as they are, and as fast as they are a going, if the bottom was to fall out of it. They’ed wear the Seat of their Britches out before they could get it stopped!.

Now if you think that was funny looking, I want you to look at this thing down her next to the “New Town” Station. See there, they got these boxes with wheels on them running around on that little biddy track. Now who in the world would want to be on something like that when it’s a jerking and banging you around like that. They got some pretty funny looking stuff over here in this part of the Country.

(As Engine crosses RR Crossing just past “New Town” station.)

“Rim Rock” station is right down here, and we’er fixing to go thru the Tunnel. So I want all you Women and Childurn to git out yore Hankies and kivver up yore Faces, so you don’t choke on the Coal Smoke. (After Con-ductor clears Tunnel.) Now, didn’

(When Train gets about 2 way up the grade past the Tunnel, Call next station!)

     “Mexican Junction” Now folks if’un you’ll look right out there to your right, in a minuet you can probably see the Little Mexican Train that you can connect with if you wuz to get off this Train here. But you can’t git off, cause we ain’t stopping, cause nobody told me you wanted off.

     Next Station is “Will’s Point”. Now when we git down here, I want you to look down thar among them Trees and you can probably see them Folks riding on then Mules with one of them Con-cestidoor fellas a looking for one of them Cities of Gold.

(After Engine passes “Will’s Point” Station Sign, Station Master at Great Southwest Station will Signal a STOP with the White Flag. Engineer will answer with the Train Whistle, say.)

Now Folks we’re fixing to come in to “Great Southwest” Station and we’ll be a stopping cause the Station Master there has Signaled us to stop. Now I don’t want see nobody to start to git up and git off til the Train comes to a complete stop, and I tell you it’s alright to git off. Cause If’un you wuz to git off to quick, you might fall down and Skin yore knees, Scuff yore Boots, Rip the Seat of yore Britches, or Dent up the Platform, or no tellin what, and we can’t have that, so just keep yore Seat. Now just hold it, wait a minuet, Hold it. (Train stops with slight jerk. Then say.) Ok, Now you can git off, and Ya’